Oi! Yanks! No!

Transport

Trains

Standard method of transport for many a commuter, and the rail network is very extensive. Most medium-sized communities and villages have a train station. But there are *rules*:

Talking. - You may only speak to people on the platform to enquire when the train is due, or if it is the correct one, and then it's pushing it. Occasional grumbles to yourself about the weather are allowed, but only under extreme circumstances. If the train is late by one hour, you may make a comment. By two hours, mild mutual grumbling is allowed as long as it's restrained grumbling. Three hours, the WI will start delivering Horlicks and the commuters are allowed to start singing Vera Lynn songs and 'Why Are We Waiting'. Most will stand next to the same set of people every working day for twenty years and not have spoken more than a hundred words to them during that time, let alone know their names.
When actually on long distance trains, if someone starts talking to you (normally an old biddy) it is polite to respond, but otherwise, don't. We're giving you privacy. Not being rude.

And yes, they do have a reputation for being late. Or not turning up. (though this varies on which network you're on - some have really bad reputations) With some really fabulous excuses given - leaves on the line is an old favourite. Then we have 'the wrong kind of snow'. Or my all-time favourite, a llama. Though I have been on a train where the engine dropped out. Recently we've had tracks buckling due to the heat and shoddy materials used.

Food - varies from company to company, most long distance trains having a buffet/restaurant car that serves food at extortionate prices. On the shorter distance ones you get a trolley coming round - sandwiches, drinks, that kind of thing. The unfortunate member of staff who pushes this up and down the train is known as a 'trolley dolly'.

Buses

The bus service varies from town to town, as it's run by the local councils rather than semi-nationally, like the trains, which have to interconnect with each other. In some places it's very good; the buses turn up regularly, on time and so on, and it's cheap. In others it's horrendous - expensive, constantly being cancelled or late, and impossible to figure out. Pure pot luck.

Paying - this is nearly always on the bus, and you pay the bus driver as you get on for the journey, though you can get returns and weekly tickets from the bus driver in most cases. Some towns have instituted a no-change scheme for security purposes - stick the right amount of money in the drop box, driver gives you ticket, no chance of change. Most likely to be seen on night buses so people can't beat the driver up for the money. Season tickets - over a week - you normally have to get from the travel centre, an office in town, as these often require photo ID as part of the ticket.

Trams

Found in some parts of the country, being brought back steadily. They work much the same as buses.

Underground

The Tube in London, the Metro in Newcastle, and other names in other cities. I've only been on the Tube and the Metro, so here goes...

Basically the underground railway, parts of it overground. The Tube map has no resemblance to an actual map of London, and you can often get to somewhere quicker if you take the bus or walk. Different coloured lines were mostly made by different companies before being taken over by the Government. Overcrowded, heated wrong - freezing in winter and boiling in summer with no air conditioning, constant problems - I could go on. However, it works most of the time, so we use it. Gradually getting upgraded.

For the Tube and buses, you may hear about this mythical beast called 'Oyster', which is a pre-pay card you tap in and tap out with, which can be loaded with either just cash or a season ticket. Most Londoners have one for either daily use or emergencies since single journeys are cheaper using it.

Road use

For better explanation of this, go to the DVLA and read through the highway code. For now I'm just adding a few bits.

Speed Limit - check the local signs. We have cameras at many, many spots to catch you out and put points on your licence.

Roundabouts - traffic circles, we tend to have them in Europe where traffic's coming from different parts of the compass. Give way to anyone coming from the right (left if you're driving on the right like in Europe).

Pedestrian crossings - all named after animals, isn't that fabulous?
Zebra - white lines painted across the road parallel to the kerb. You have to stop if someone looks like they might cross.
Pelican - at traffic lights.
There's others such as Toucan and Puffin, but after thorough reading of the Highway Code they're basically variations on the Pelican ones.