| Alcohol: | Whilst it's no secret we enjoy the demon drink, we also aren't the nation of alcoholics that we sometimes appear. That said, we could still drink any American under the table… |
| Fried food: | The diet of western Scotland is often ridiculed, and for good reason. If we can dip something in batter and fry it, we will. This includes pizzas, hamburgers, haggis, sausages and Mars Bars as well as the more traditional fish. Deep fried chocolate was however mostly a joke and is rarely found on menus. |
| Gaelic: | Spoken by a dwindling number of people on the north west coast and islands of Scotland, Scottish Gaelic (pronounced "gallic") is related to but not the same as Irish Gaelic (pronounced "gay-lick"). Most Scottish people under 40 have fond memories of Gaelic childrens' programming, where cartoon classics were overdubbed with someone who appeared to be impersonating the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. |
| Haggis: | Traditionally made from sheep offal ground up with oatmeal and cooked in a sheep's stomach, it's rarely made in this way today for reasons of food safety. Even it its modified form (artificial stomach and mutton rather than offal) it's rarely eaten in most households except on Burns Night, when Scotland celebrates its national bard Robert Burns (most famous as the writer of "Auld Lang Syne") by eating haggis with mashed potatoes and turnips. |
| Hogmanay: | New Years' Eve, traditionally a more important holiday in Scotland than Christmas. An excuse to have a huge party and sing "Auld Lang Syne". I should point out here that the whole world sings the song wrong (don't Anglicise the words!) and everyone crosses their arms too early (you should wait until the second verse) but no-one will listen to me, so I won't bother. |
| Irn Bru: | Advertises itself as Scotland's other national drink (the first being whisky of course) and pretty much holds that place in the national psyche. Once described as tasting of burnt plastic it's actually fairly sweet and bubble-gummy. A higher sugar content than even Coca-Cola means it contributes to the poor dental health of Scotland, but this probably explains why Scotland is the only place on Earth where Coca-Cola is not the top selling soft-drink, because that title is held by the estimable Bru. [Note from Gunbunny : There is also an alcopop version of Irn Bru, called WKD, which comes in orange or blue. Like all alcopops, be wary.] |
| Kilts: | Rarely worn by most Scotsmen except on formal occasions such as weddings, graduations, dinner dances and so on. Worn instead of a tuxedo, in other words. A sporran must be worn with it, but by tradition without any underwear. The tartan worn should be that connected to your surname, or your mother or either grandmother's maiden names, although that convention isn't always followed. |
| Whisky: | A minor nit-pick, but whisky is Scottish or Scotch, whilst whiskey is Irish. Scottish people generally don't call whisky Scotch, and never ever ever are the people Scotch. We are Scottish, or Scots. It's actually quite insulting to call us Scotch. |