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Food
One thing : It is almost impossible to get GM (genetically modified) food in most shops in the UK. Maybe Nettos or LDL, but otherwise... nuh-uh. Big public outcry about it.
| Grape flavour | a disgusting invention. We prefer blackcurrant if we feel the need for something purple. |
| Ice in single malt scotch | Do not do this! Heathen! |
| Takeaways | What is available, in order of popularity :
Fish and Chips, aka the Chippy - battered deep fried fish and chunky chips, soaked in salt and vinegar to the buyer's discretion. A good chippy will be rated by a comment about how good its chips are. Also available : Sausages, battered sausages, saveloys, chicken, pies, spam fritters, mushy pea fritters, burgers, veggie burgers, with added side stuff of onion rings, pickled eggs, pickled onions, deep-fried mars bars and mushy peas. The list goes on.
Chinese - normally a lot less greasy than the US version, and a bit saltier.
Indian
Doner Kebabs - Most likely to get food poisoning, but no-one really cares, since you're unlikely to eat from these places if you're sober. Also not normally found on the edges of towns due to their dependence on the drunk crowd. (also often serve burgers, and the chips often come with mayonnaise) Chips normally bought when trying to shelter from the cold whilst waiting for the bus/train late at night.
Pizza - Mostly the same chains as the US, but several late night places you can get a slice or whole pizzas from. These are often heavy on the cheese and saltier, which is what you tend to crave at 2am or post-pub.
Thai - mostly indistinguishable from the Chinese, except for a few dishes.
Vietnamese or Korean - also mostly indistinguishable from the Chinese. |
| Alcopops | I have no idea what these are called in America. Basically, take a spirit - vodka, rum, etc, then add fizzy drink, normally fruit flavoured, half a tonne of sugar, then stick in bottle and put a label on it. Some are practically respectable (normally the ones made by the brand name spirit producers, others are not. Mostly marketed at women and younger folks due to the fact that you can barely taste the alcohol. However, you do often get pissed quite fast on these due to not registering the alcohol. Popular ones : Smirnoff Ice, Bacardi Breezers, Reef (much sweeter than most others), WKD (Irn Bru flavour, a bit like bubblegum), VK, Archers Aqua. Blokes will occasionally get the piss taken out of them for drinking these, unless it's Smirnoff Ice. |
| Beer | Quite different to American beer (aka cat's piss). Thicker, more alcoholic, much darker, designed to be served at room temperature. Hops-based. American beer most closely resembles lager. |
| Brown sauce | Spicy fruit-based sauce, equivalent to ketchup. That's what the brown bottle is in a café next to the red and yellow stuff. |
| Bubble and Squeak | Leftover boiled cabbage and potatoes, mixed together and then fried. Really, really tasty and often served with fry-ups or cold meat. Basically, like stew, meatloaf, pasta salad and other foodstuffs, it's a way to use up the leftovers from previous meals. |
| Cider | Alcoholic drink made from apples. At least twice as alcoholic as beer, which is more alcoholic than lager (lager's pretty close to American beer). Favoured by students and 14 year-olds hanging around on street corners as it's fairly cheap. There is also the far more virulent form called Scrumpy, made in the West Country (Devon and Cornwall). Only drink this if you wish to wake up in a hedgerow three days later. |
| Crumpets | Bread product that you stick in the toaster for brekkies. Difficult to explain. |
| Curry | National dish. Originally made in India as a spicy sauce to disguise the meat. This became specialised by region, so there's a load of variations. Creamy ones, tomato ones, nutty ones, spicy ones (level of spice varies due to type, hottest being vindaloo)... there's even a few that were invented in Britain. It was brought over to Britain by first people returning from conquering India and later by the great influx of Asians into Britain during the 1960s and gained popularity. A few names - Balti, Korma, Vindaloo, etc. We're fairly sure 'vindaloo' means 'what to serve stupid macho westerners who want to burn their mouths'. Curry's since become the generic term for meat in sauce originating in Asia. |
| Elevenses | Mid-morning snack, normally taken at eleven-ish. Toast, Chelsea buns (sticky with fruit in), crumpets, etc. |
| Hot Cross Buns | Bread product, a roll with currants and spices in, and a cross marked on the top with non-fruit dough. Preferably served hot with butter. Only available and should only be made around Easter and Lent. For, er, obvious reasons... |
| Lager | Fizzy, golden, weak beer-type stuff, mostly associated with Australia. Serve chilled. See Fosters or Castlemaine XXXX. |
| Lemonade | Fizzy sugary water with a faint lemonish-taste to it. Yeah. It's kind of like Sprite or 7up, which're also bracketed with lemonade on the shelves. If you want proper lemonade that contains actual lemons, you want 'Old-fashioned lemonade'. |
| Mustard | If you come across something yellow next to the ketchup, do not slather it on your food unless you like pain. English mustard is *hot*. Our love affair with burning our mouths has been going on longer than our love affair with curry. (See A Midsummer's Night Dream for evidence) American is based on French mustard, only with the flavour extracted and half a ton of yellow colouring added. |
| Marmite | savoury spread made from yeast extract, scraped from the side of beer-making vats. Highly salty comfort food. Loved or loathed. |
| Mash | Mashed potatoes. Boil and then smash into a pulp, with milk and butter to help the transition. Often served with bangers (sausages). |
| Muffins | Different from the American version, which is more like a heavy cake. Muffins here are small flat white bread cakes, which you slice in half and toast for breakfast. |
| Mushy peas | Shuddup. They're delicious. Marrowfat peas cooked til mushy. Delicious with fish 'n' chips, as are pickled eggs, pickled onions, saveloys, deep-fried pizza, deep-fried mars bars... |
| Pancakes | English pancakes are like French crêpes. Paper-thin, designed to be smothered in lemon and sugar or whatever you feel like slathering on them. Lemon juice and sugar is the default. Maple syrup and whipped cream is fine, as is bananas and cream, nutella or other things. You may also stick in ham, cheese, etc. Buckwheat or savoury pancakes are made with a different type of flour and are a bit blackish.
Pancakes served for brekkies (resemble US ones) are known as Scottish or Irish pancakes (depends on the shop selling them), to be stuck in the toaster. We don't make them. They're not that common. If you have someone making pancakes for breakfast, that's usually only going to happen around Shrove Tuesday (aka Pancake Day) and then it will be *crêpes*, not the Irish or Scots ones. |
| Pasty | Meat and veg wrapped up in thick pastry in a half-circle shape, rolled and scalloped edge. Traditionally it's beef, veggies and potato, but you can get them in anything from veggie to seafood. Originate from Cornwall. |
| Pickles | Something pickled (stuck in vinegar to preserve it). What you call pickles are gherkins. However, if you get a 'pickle' sauce (Lime, Mango Chutney, etc) that's served with curry? Be very cautious and check the heat rating on the jar. |
| Ready meals | TV dinners - aka stick 'em in the microwave/oven. |
| Ribena | Blackcurrant squash, available in other flavours but mostly known for being blackcurrant. Has branched out into other forms of soft drink. Sweet and syrupy in concentrated form, consumed by small children. Bane of anyone who has to do the laundry and thus features in lots of washing powder adverts, along with egg, grass and wine stains. |
Scotch | *whisky*. Not the people of Scotland. |
| Scotch Egg | Boiled egg with sausage and breadcrumb wrapping, deep fried and served cold. |
| Sweet | Another word for dessert, or pudding. |
| Sweets | Candy. Only sweets as a rule tends to refer to the sugar-based sweets that aren't chocolate though it can be all-encompassing. Chocolate is to be worshipped and not lumped in with everything else sweet. We only use 'candy' to refer to certain things, such as candy floss. (cotton candy to you) |
| Tea | The meal known as tea is basically dinner. Though it can mean a light meal taken after lunch - tea, cake, bread, some savoury stuff, which is to take tea, also known as High Tea. A Cream Tea is one with scones, jam and (preferably clotted) cream, sometimes with extra cakes. The jam is normally strawberry or raspberry. Cornwall and Devon are famous for their Cream Teas.
One other note. You make tea by putting the kettle on, sticking the tea bag or loose leaf in the pot or cup, then pour the water in straight away. Microwaves are not acceptable, since said tea will then taste flat. Nor is bringing the hot water in a separate pot to the table. You make the tea, *then* you serve it. Leaving the tea bag in there is just about acceptable, since you never know how strong the person wants it, but it's borderline. Milk and sugar are to be added at the recipient's discretion. But please god, make the tea before serving it. Don't give us what was hot water and a teabag and cup. |
| Worcestershire Sauce | Not a sauce, more a flavouring. Originally made by Lea and Perrins. Fish and other ingredients sauce, fermented and aged for a long time, very tangy and distinctive and can be used on damn near anything. |
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